Beauty

"Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old."

-  Franz Kafka

For the last few days it's been raining steadily here in Guatemala City. As I write this, it's even a bit chilly. (Brrrr.)  Despite the weather though, and despite my overwhelming desire to crawl into my bed and sleep for hours and hours while it's raining, I need to search for beauty.  I have to find at least one or two things that strike me as beautiful.  

But I'm not looking at this as just the completion of an assignment.  I truly believe it's important for all of us to search for beauty every day, because too often we blindly, and aimlessly stroll through our lives without stopping to look around.

When it comes to beauty, there is so much I could write about.  I could write about the little birds that hobble into my classroom every morning as I get ready for school.  They bob their heads back and forth searching for crumbs of food that my students have left behind.  I could write about the way the rain splashes against the pavement, or how it explodes when it falls into puddles.  I could write about the people I see each day that make me smile.  

But I won't.

Instead I'm going to write about one thing in particular that's beautiful, but that I often overlook.  It's a tree.  I can't tell you the type of tree it is, because I really have no idea, but I can tell you that it's fairly tall, fairly green, and fairly unique.  You see, it has these bristles that, when the

 wind blows through them just right, it looks as if there were luau dancers attached to the tree, dancing through the breeze.  I'm sure people have passed this tree, and even looked at it a thousand times without ever picturing this, but sometimes my imagination takes over and I can't see anything but the giant luau. For me it's a very distinct, beautiful tree.

Finally, the view from my apartment is also captivating.  In the morning I watch as the sun rises and changes the colors of the sky from a dark blue to orange.  Then in the afternoon it slowly fades from gold to dark blue to black.  And even the lights are beautiful in the night, as I think about how much the world has progressed over time.

Regardless of what I encounter each day though, in the end, beauty is not so much WHAT we see, but HOW we see it.  

No Stranger to Anger

I think it's rare for any of us to stop and say, "What is it about me that might annoy people?" Or, "What do I do that might infuriate someone?"  But I know there are so many things I've done, and probably still do, that perturb other people.  

Let's start with driving.  I'm not exactly the safest driver on the road.  I have a tendency to go too fast, and I also cut people off from time to time.   I'm usually a very calm person, and even when I drive I'm pretty laid back, but I just really, really like to go fast and have fun when I'm behind the wheel.  The problem though, is that other drivers don't think it's so fun when I pull right in front of them, or speed up behind them.  They get irked.  They honk.  I wave in an 

apologetic way.  Then they scowl, and I feel bad for making them angry. 

 It's something I've tried working on, because I'll probably get into an accident some day, but sometimes I can't help myself.

Now we'll move on to teaching.  I can't tell you the number of students who have gone ballistic because of something I said or did.  But I want to make something very clear:  I have never once tried to make a student angry, nor have I ever enjoyed seeing a student get angry.  But it has happened.  Usually it has something to do with grades, or the fact that I had them call home about their behavior.  I remember one student in particular who was furious with me because of a grade she received on a speech.  She got 59/60 and was heated with me for two weeks because she thought she earned a 100% and I just didn't want to give her that grade.  I can honestly say I've never seen someone get so upset over 1 point, but in her defense she did work extremely hard on the presentation.  I also vividly remember a girl in California who despised me for the first few weeks of school because I couldn't pronounce her name correctly.  Her name was Andrea, and a good friend of mine had the same name, but she pronounced it differently, so I as accustomed to saying it one way, and it took me a while to adjust.  She was not patient with me, and always became angry when I mispronounced her name.  

I suppose the important thing for me, is to realize that my actions do affect other people in subtle ways and in major ways.  And truthfully, I would much rather be the type of person who makes people happy, rather than someone who makes them enraged.  So, as much as possible, I try to minimize the negative things I do to others.  

Good night!

Picture citation: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA2bKqDt-lqJmoVPtt8f2kDhSpRIOJtN7vuBWkq5yFJqff2FHUWrdSxLuUn3CRtpOXHRUKDYAMAvUus8c3_WeENb7Ngmtuw-gRNmn8dACzAc6J5Fk-_fM1veO7cfuO8643kOdxdFP-BRLL/s320/IMG_1606.JPG&imgrefurl=http://owenwise.blogspot.com/&h=240&w=320&sz=15&hl=en&start=24&um=1&usg=__3jdAqMfX_YGquXsRhxiTESXETHI=&tbnid=Z3NQ286AgJJ4uM:&tbnh=89&tbnw=118&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcrazy%2Bdriver%26start%3D20%26ndsp%3D20%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den-us%26sa%3DN

Universal Theme Entry #1: Anger

"Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools." - Albert Einstein

"He who angers you, conquers you." - Elizabeth Kenny

I remember having a pretty nasty temper when I was younger.  And I don't really like to blame anyone for it, because I know I'm ultimately responsible for my own actions, but the truth is my mom may have taught me a thing or two about going berserk.

You see, my mom used to smoke, so naturally there were ashtrays laying all over the house:  in the kitchen, on the coffee table, even up in her bathroom.  These ashtrays became ammunition for her whenever my brother Nick or I would make her upset, which was more frequent than I'd like to admit.  If Nick and I were fighting or arguing, and wouldn't stop after she'd yelled at us several times, she would grab the nearest ashtray, wind up like a pitcher in the major leagues, and throw it at one of us as hard as she could.  Normally her aim was way off, thankfully, and I don't think she ever intended to actually hit us, but one time I did catch an ashtray in the back of the head.  It hurt.  I may have bled a bit, too.  But while it did temporarily stop me from fighting with my brother, it unfortunately made me think that it was okay to lose control and even to throw things when I was furious, rather than taking a deep breath and coping with my anger.  (Quick note:  Don't take this story too far out of context.  I love my mother to death, and she did a wonderful job raising my siblings and I.  It's just that she did have a temper, and this might have been the result of things my brothers and I had done.  So I don't want to paint a completely derogatory picture of my mother here.)

Luckily, when I started studying at the University of Iowa, I began taking a variety of classes for my teaching degree like Educational Psychology, Classroom Management, and even a class called Quest for Human Destiny.  All of these classes taught me how to not only control

my anger, but also the anger of others.  They showed me how to put my thoughts into perspective, how to look at the big picture, and how to think deeply about each problem rather than reacting solely based on instinct.  These classes also taught me the very valuable lesson that if I get angry and blow up, the people around me will too.  However, if I remain calm and speak softly, so will others.  Now, after five years of teaching, I have never once had to yell at class or raise my voice.  Even in California, where it was sometimes all too common to walk by a classroom and hear a teacher screaming at the students, I never once had to succumb to that.

Once again though, this was something I had to learn.  I don't think I was born with a calm demeanor, nor was I born with the desire to go irate.  We typically learn from what our environments teach us, and I was fortunate enough to step into a new environment where I discovered an alternative to letting my anger control me.

Some techniques I use on a daily basis to control any anger or frustration are:

• Breathing deeply
• Listening to peaceful music
• Putting my life into perspective by realizing how lucky I am
• Taking pictures
• Working out
• Playing basketball or tennis or going for a bike ride
• Painting or drawing or writing
• SLOWING DOWN

Holocaust Interviews

• Interview #1:   Mr. Olsen -  Middle School Principal

-  What do you know about the Holocaust and World War II?

• 6 million innocent people (men, women and children) were systematically murdered simply because they were different and the world stood by and watched. A proud intelligent nation under a deranged leader were duped into believing in their own superiority, and the inferiority of others. The Holocaust must be recognized as an example of the inhumane potential that exists within us all. 
  

-  What do you hope students learn in the process of studying these events?

• There are so many themes exemplified in the Holocaust (nationalism, prejudice, racism, imperialism, hatred, violence, greed) . Students must examine their own value set within these themes, establish a correct set of beliefs and develop the determination to stand by those beliefs when they are challenged by forces outside of themselves. As middle schoolers a meaningful place to begin is simply to establish an ethical base for the treatment of other humans.
  
  I remember a very cool poem - long ago lost that walked along this line;
  
  First they came for the mentally weak and I did not speak up because it did not affect me.
  Then they came for the physically infirm and I did not speak up because it did not affect me.
  Then they came for the Gypsies and I did not speak up because it did not affect me.
  Then they came for the Jews and I did not speak up because it did not affect me.
  Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak up for me.
  
  Every day we witness man's inhumanity to man from Darfur to CAG, and our focus remains on our own superficial issues -clothes, cars, sports and being cool. Kids need to learn what is important and when it is appropriate to speak up.
  

• Interview #2:  

-  What do you know about the Holocaust and World War II?

-  What do you hope students learn in the process of studying these events?

Being a Teacher/Foreigner in Guatemala

This is not technically my home. I was not born in Guatemala, and I have only spent a little over a year living here. However, it amazes me how much I feel at home in this country. Since moving to Guatemala to teach, I have gone "home" to Iowa twice. And both times, upon returning to Guatemala City, I felt so comfortable, and felt so excited to be back, that I truly do consider this my new home.

But living anywhere has its challenges and its benefits. One obvious difficulty in Guatemala is the safety. I have a mountain bike here, but every time I ride around in the zone where I live, I worry that someone could easily steal my bike from me. At night, it's fairly safe in certain zones to walk around, but once again, there's always the notion that something, anything could happen.

It's not just the safety though. Another challenge is the language. It's nearly impossible to become part of a culture if you can't speak to the people, and for the first six months or so, it was hard for me to order food, get my hair cut, and even shop for groceries.  Fortunately my Spanish has improved a great deal, but there are many times when someone will ask me something, and the only response I can give them is, "Que manda," or, "Otra vez," or, if I'm feeling especially brave, "Lo siento, no te entendi."

Anyone who's traveled or lived in different countries knows that challenges exist everywhere, but so do benefits and beauties. The most beautiful thing about Guatemala for me is the people. Sure the weather is nice--when it's not raining--and there are places which take my breath away. But for me, it's the demeanor of the people that has continued to awe me. And I'm not talking about the people trying to sell me camisas, or pens that say Guatemala. Never have I met a vender in any country and thought, "What a sweet person you are." But the kids I've met, the parents, the friends I have who are Guatemaltecos; are incredibly generous with their time, and open to me as a foreigner. They do not automatically hate me because I'm from the US or because I look differently. Each and every day I experience the warmth of the people here in Guatemala, whether it's the lady that cuts my hair, or my Spanish tutor.

Finally, I also love the fact that I can climb volcanoes here, visit the beach in an hour, travel to one of the most beautiful lakes in the world, and even see ancient Mayan ruins. The amount of greenery and natural beauty makes me realize that I am lucky, for however long, to be a visitor in Guatemala, but also to call it my home for a few years.