Nothing to Fear but...

When I was young, I had some really abnormal fears.  I was afraid of dying in my sleep, of putting my shoe on and feeling a giant spider or snake inside, and I was even afraid of one of my grandma's wigs attacking me.  Abnormal, I know.  But one that was extremely strange and irrational, was my fear of something attacking me while I was going to the bathroom.  Like I said in class, it may have had something to do with a movie I saw, but when I was young, I always panicked a little because I thought something would jump out of the toilet and get me when I was the most vulnerable.  Fortunately, nothing ever did, and I've conquered this ridiculous fear, but it was certainly real for a while.

Nowadays, my fears have become more rational.  Like the fear of losing my mom and not being able to say good-bye.  She has Multiple Sclerosis, and has been unable to walk or feed herself for quite a few years now.  My mom lives in a nursing home where she gets constant care, but I'm always afraid that something will happen to her, and I won't have the chance to say good-bye, or to tell her everything I want to say.  It seems logical to just call her and tell her right now, but I'm also afraid to talk to her about death and things like this.  I keep telling myself I'm going to do it the next time I fly home, but it never feels right.  Maybe this is a fear I need to conquer soon.  

I'm also a little terrified about the state of the world.  Just yesterday, virtually every stock market in the world fell drastically.  Four countries--Russia, Indonesia, Ukraine, and Romania--even closed their stock markets fearing the loss of millions of dollars.  Global warming frightens me, as does the loss of drinkable water.  We take it for granted that all this clean, purified water will continue to just show up, but there are so many countries at this very moment losing access to drinkable water.  And these fears are rational.  They exist because there is a good possibility we could all be affected by these things soon.

With that said, I don't waste my day in a state of anxiety.  That's pointless.  While I'm teaching, or eating, or hanging out with friends, I don't break down and cry because the value of the dollar may crumble, or because I may not have clean water one day.  This would be foolish.  For the most part, I live in the present moment as much as possible and deal with challenges as they arise.  This seems the most rational of all.  

Image citation: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/spanish/business/newsid_7660000/7660311.stm